Boxing up a life

As the days grind on, we get closer and closer to the imminent date of her departure. The clearing of the room, the sorting out of stuff, and the throwing away of rubbish all help to mercifully blunt sensitivity. Air freight shipping will have to wait until she knows how much space she has in the room or rooms that will usurp the tag of ‘home’. We shall therefore be faced with a second wave of packing and crating some weeks or months after she has gone. For the time being, it has all been stacked into temporary cardboard boxes in order that we may get some idea of the cubic footage that will be required. The weight of the boxes is incredible. I had no idea she had so many CDs DVDs and books.

Things are vanished into boxes

This morning I went to Staples, a big office supply store in the UK, to get a replacement toner cartridge for my computer printer. At the checkout I waited while a father and his son paid for their goods. The boy looked about 18 and from all the files and folders that they were getting my guess is that he was about to go off to university. I saw the father put his credit card into the reader and this thrust me back to when I had done an almost identical thing when my daughter went off to university. The expected wave of emotion swept over me but it has been happening so much these past two weeks I had little difficulty holding back until I had paid for my stuff and got into the car for the ride home. On the way back I stopped briefly at a supermarket to get a loaf of bread. It is still the school holidays here and as I walked over to the bakery with my handbasket I passed a father doing some shopping with his teenage daughters. Of course, yet again more memories were triggered. Everywhere I turn, there are reminders of past family life together. My only hope is that eventually they will become dull and cease to stimulate sharp memories.

I am finding it very difficult to play piano, guitar, or to sing. I think the simple explanation of that must be that singing and playing music is a very emotional thing to do. Not really what I want right now.

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